dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
