This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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