My friends, they love my intelligence
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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