I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
