Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
how does that bad decision feel?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
