I wish my penis had an off switch
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
