Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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