Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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