so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
