I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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