She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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