Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
