i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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