if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
