We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
