This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
