I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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