Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
