You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
