So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Found the puke drawer
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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