is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
