But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
