this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
