Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
