if you like me you must not know who I am
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
