Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
