Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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