apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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