Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
