Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
