You're so nebulous sometimes
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
smell my finger.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
