Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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