smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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