he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
