I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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