You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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