I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i think my cat just said my name.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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