You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
