hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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