Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
NoShamevember. You game?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize