if you like me you must not know who I am
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Vodka?
Forever.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
