I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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