just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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