I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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