I'm eating all of the evidence.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
