Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
