Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
