Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
