I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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