Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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