What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
