fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
