can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
